I Hate You
by The Blonde Midget
Summary: A blond is watching a sunset, by himself. His cheeks are wet, and he carries something within his heart A pain deeper than the ocean he is watching. SetoJou


Hi again! Another one-shot, and another plot-bunny biting me in the ass!

Plot-bunny: -munching on The Blonde Midgets ass-

Um, yeah...This one is a very sad and angsty story. Possibly the saddest story I have ever written. With Seto/Jou...I should get this story started, ne? –looks around on the angry reader(s)- Um...yeah, here it goes.

La Plot: A blond is watching a sunset, by himself. His cheeks are wet, and he carries something within his heart; A pain deeper than the ocean he is watching. Loosing someone isn't easy. Loosing someone forever...is hell.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. At least not concerning Yu-Gi-Oh...and I don't own the lyrics mentioned.

Pairings: Seto/Jou and many more hinted.

Warnings: Boy/Boy love, angst and character death. OOC and major fluff.

_Parts written in this sort of text is memories and flashbacks. _

Gotta warn you; I will not bash Anzu in this fic. At all. I'll even give her some compliments! (And MAN were they hard to figure out!)

That is all I need to say! Lets get this started...

Domino Beach 

**17:15**

Normal POV 

A hard breeze ruffled the 19 years old Jou's sun kissed hair, making it even messier than it already was. Jou hadn't brushed his hair that day. He hadn't bothered. It was messy and would always be messy.

Jou watched the oceanwith tear-filled eyes, but he didn't sob. The tears ran slowly down his cheeks, but he wasn't crying.

The sea was beautiful. Blue water shone under the image of the sun, that was slowly starting to set. But it wouldn't be dark until many more hours. Many hours to watch the oceans beauty still remained.

Jou clenched his right fist, squeezing the small item he held in his hand. It hurt a little, but he didn't care. The small pain from his hand was nothing compared to the sharp ache from his broken heart.

**Jou's POV**

Loneliness.

Horrible, isn't it? To know that you will forever be alone. Never meet someone again, someone you love and care for. Knowing that you will never find someone that will effect you in that way again; knowing that your ability of love has died.

Loosing someone is not easy. Loosing someone forever is hell.

Why am I here, you ask? Standing by an ocean, just watching it?

I'm hiding. Hiding from the world, and it's hard reality. Hiding from the people that wants to find me. But, most importantly, I'm hiding from _him_. I'm afraid of meeting him again, or to be reminded of him. Again.

Though, I don't know how you can hide from someone that is forever gone.

Headlines from different newspaper flashes before my eyes.

_Terrible car accident: Five persons dead. _

_Kaiba Corporation is crushed: CEO's death shakes the workers._

_Car crash disaster: Kills teenager CEO. _

Tears starts running down my cheeks again. The memories are still there. I don't want to be reminded. But, wherever I look, I see him.

"Seto..." Only a mere whisper. Only one word. But still the most important word in my life.

Seto Kaiba, my fiancé, Mokuba's big brother and the CEO of Kaiba Corp, died in a car crash, on the 15th of May.

I weren't there. They didn't tell me until two hours after the crash, when Seto already were in the hospital.

Flashback 

"_Seto!" Jou screamed, and ran into the room that was occupied by Seto Kaiba. _

_  
Several doctors and nurses turned to watch him when he rushed in. They didn't stop him when he pushed past them and fell on his knees by Seto's bed. They only watched with sad eyes, silently screaming out the pity they felt for him. _

_Jou sobbed as he grabbed Seto's hand, and caressed it. "S-Seto? Can...you hear me?" _

_Slowly, blue eyes opened to watch him. They were blurry for a few moments, but then cleared a little upon seeing him. A small smile formed on the pale lips. "Pup..." He whispered softly, and weakly squeezed Jou's hand. _

_Jou sobbed, and forced himself to smile. "Are...will you...Seto, don't die, alright?" His amber eyes filled with tears as he said this, and he bent down his head. _

_Seto looked calmly at him, and rose his hand to Jou's cheek. Softly, he caressed away a few stray tears from the other's cheek, before he spoke. "I'm sorry, Katsuya. But I can not promise that. I don't want to lie to you." _

_Jou looked at Seto and saw the serious look on the CEO's face. "W-What?" A fear rose within him, and almost drowned him. He understood exactly what the CEO meant, but didn't want to believe it. _

_Seto closed his eyes for a few seconds before looking at Jou again. His eyes was also filled with tears, but also calmness. "I will die, Jou. I know I will. I can feel the force of my body run out from me..." He drew a deep and shaky breath. "But...don't cry over me, Jou..." _

_Jou sobbed, and shook his head. "Y-You won't die, Seto! You...you can't...I can't live without you...p-please, Seto!" _

_The doctors looked at the scene with saddened eyes, and bowed their heads. They all knew too. The minute the CEO had been rushed in, they had known that there was no chance of his survival. Now, when they saw this, they all regretted that they hadn't tried harder. _

_Seto lifted his hand again to touch Jou's cheek. His eyes were serious, and very calm. "You can live without me, Jou. You will." Although weak, Seto's voice was stern. _

_The tears was now running in a steady stream down Jou's cheeks and he took Seto's hand again. "I...can't forget you, Seto..." _

"_I'm not asking you to...I want you to remember me, Jou...but not with sorrow in your heart." Seto smiled a little. "Cherish the moments we had, Jou. Never forget me. But...move on. Don't live in the past." _

_Jou sobbed harshly again, and shook his head. "I won't forget, Seto...I promise, I won't. But moving on...That I can not promise. I...c-can't take you leaving me, Seto! N-Not like this..." _

_Seto shook his head slightly. "I will never leave you, Katsuya. As long as you remember me, I will forever live in your heart." He touched Jou's chest, right over the heart. "Here, I will rest." A cough shook the CEO's body, and he desperately tried to regain his breath. He had something more to say. _

_Jou leaned closer to Seto when the other spoke again with a weak voice. "I...I love you, Katsuya. I always will." Seto pulled Jou down closer and kissed his lips gently, in a loving and longing way; a farewell kiss. _

_Before Jou could answer, Seto went limp, and the machine next to him gave a long, and steady beep that seemed to last forever. _

End Flashback 

More tears runs down my cheeks, as I stand on the edge of the cliff. It hurts. I never had the time to say all that I wanted. I only got ten minutes. How I wish that I had had the time to tell Seto how much I really love him. No, sorry; I mean, loved him. Must remember to use past sense now... No, wait. It's supposed to be 'love'. I still love him. I always will. No past sense can change that. Nor can anything else.

The funeral, that was held only one week after Seto's death, was small; only Mokuba, me and our friends. I remember that I didn't cry one single time on that funeral. And I didn't cry at the small memorial moment we had afterwards, when everyone said something about Seto.

I didn't cry when I rocked Mokuba to sleep, and held him while he cried. I didn't cry when I undressed in Seto's and my bedroom.

The tears came when I laid in the large bed, and felt the emptiness of laying alone in the cold bed. I cried all that night, hugging Seto's pillow. It still smelled like him. I desperately clanged to that last thread of him. I still keep his clothes. I don't want to forget how he smells.

I still don't know how I managed to get up the next morning to take care of Mokuba, and try to keep him from crying. I never cried during the days. Then I had to be strong.

The tears only came at night when I was alone.

"_Cherish the moments we had..._" I hear Seto's weak voice in my head, and more tears runs down my cheeks. Cherish the moments...

Flashback 

"Well, well, well...if it isn't the mutt. What are you doing here all by yourself, without a master?"

_Jou jerked, and looked up from his book. He sat on one of the benches in the park, by the pond. Children played there, tossing a ball back and forward. The blond had been sitting there for a while, doing his English homework; reading a boring book. And then, Kaiba just had to show up..._

_The blond glared at the brunet. "I am no dog, Kaiba! And what I am doin' here is none of your damn business! Jus' leave me alone, and stop annoying me of all people on this earth. There's over 6 billion people on this planet; why do ya bug me!" _

_Seto smirked. "Because it is amusing." _

_Jou groaned, and slapped his forehead. "Tha's no fuckin' reason!" _

"_It is a reason. It really **is** amusing." _

"_...it's not a **good** reason!" Jou argued, and glared again. "Now, if ya excuse me, I'm gonna continue readin' my book!" And with that, Jou looked back down in the book, and tried to pretend that he was reading. _

_And that wasn't easy when his secret crush was looming over him. _

_And it became even harder when said crush snatched the book from his hands. _

"_Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn..." Kaiba muttered, and looked on the cover. _

_Jou rose, and tried to take his book back. "Hey! Give tha' back, moneybags! I need to finish tha' today!" The blond made a jump for the book, but Seto avoided the attack easily. _

_The CEO opened the book where Jou had been reading. He sneered. "Then you better hurry. As far as I can see, you have barely finished the table of contents." _

_Jou blushed slightly, and once again tried to take the book. "Funny, Kaiba. Really funny. Ever thought about doin' stand up comedy?" _

_Seto shrugged and pulled away the book from Jou's grasp. "They offered. I turned them down." _

"_...ya do know tha' I was bein' sarcastic?" _

"_I wasn't." _

_Jou blinked, and stared at Kaiba. "Huh? They seriously offered ya a job as a comedian? Tha's just...ya're shitting me, right?" _

_Kaiba simply smirked. "What do you think?" _

_Jou groaned, and reached for his book again. "Alright, ya got me there. Now, give me tha' damn book, alright? I really do need to finish it..." _

"Let me think of it." Kaiba made a pretended look of being in deep thought. "No."

"_Oh, fuck this." Jou sat down on the bench again, and sighed. "Keep it then. I'll just tell my teacher tha' you stole it from me so I couldn' finish my homework..." A bright smile suddenly appeared in Jou's face. "Hey, tha's a good idea!" _

_The book landed in his lap with a small huff from Kaiba. "I will not help you get away like that, and get in trouble for it." He smirked. "I have standards, after all." _

_Jou grinned inwardly. The CEO always thought he was so smart. But here, Jou just manipulated him easily. The blond opened the boring book and started reading. Or, well, pretending to be reading. Actually, he was waiting for Seto to leave so he could fully concentrate. And the brunet would leave soon. In any second, Kaiba would leave the park-_

_A low thump was heard from beside him. And then, a small sigh. "...so, what do you think about the book?" _

_Jou quickly looked up, and stared at the teenage boy next to him. Disbelief was written clearly in his face, and a small and amused smile was to be seen on his lips. "What I think 'bout the book?" _

_Seto was looking straight ahead of himself, not revealing any emotion. Although, Jou thought he spotted a small blush on the CEO's cheeks for a second. A curt nod was handled to Jou, but not any words of confirmation. _

_Jou smiled ever so slightly, and looked down on the pages again. "I'll tell ya as soon as I understand what the book is about." _

_The blond could just /**feel**/ Kaiba's look on him. A look that clearly said 'are you really that much of an idiot?' "...you don't know what the book is about?" _

Jou looked up on the sky for a moment, considering this. "Well...it's about some guy named Tom Sawyer... and some other guy named Huckleberry Finn." Pause. "Oh, and it's in English!"

Seto watched him for a few more moments. Then he sighed. "You are unbelievable."

Jou smiled. "Why, thank you!" He said happily.

"...it wasn't a compliment, mutt."

Jou shrugged. "If I wanna take it as a compliment, I take it as a compliment." A frown grew on the boy's face, and he glared at Seto. "And I am no mutt."

Seto smirked. "You're right. You're not a mutt."

Jou's heart rose.

"You're a puppy."

And then it fell again.

The blond growled, and glared at Seto. "I'm not a-" He interrupted himself when Seto leaned closer to him, only stopping when he was nose to nose with him.

"My puppy." Seto mumbled, his eyes sparkling with some unknown emotion that no one could see.

Those words made Jou blush, and he felt his heart flutter. Seto was too close. Far too close. If he didn't move away soon, Jou would do something incredibly stupid-

Damn, too late.

On pure impulse, Jou quickly leaned even closer, and stole a small kiss from the CEO's slightly parted lips. In the next second, he pulled away, blushing deeply. His eyes were wide, and he started to stutter. "O-Oh G-God...I'm sorry, Kaiba! I-I'm really, really, really-" A finger landed on his lips, stopping his mad stream of words.

Seto smiled. Not a smirk, not a grin...a true smile. Then he removed his finger, put his hand behind Jou's neck and kissed him.

End Flashback

A small smile forms on my lips at the memory. Our first kiss. I was 16 years old. It was the sweetest thing I had ever experienced, and I remember that I felt like I were flying that day. Because that was what Seto's kisses did to me. They made me fly, and carried me away.

Never again will I feel like that.

I sigh, and sit down on the edge of the cliff I'm standing on. The sea is roaring underneath me; a beautiful hymn to me. I love the ocean.

And so did Seto.

I close my eyes tightly. Why can't I stop thinking about him!

The answer is simple, really. I don't want to stop thinking about him. I want to remember him. I fear the day when Seto's face has faded in my mind, and the day I will lose the image and memory of him. If I loose that, I will die. I know I will. I need Seto, even if he's dead.

Another memory comes to me. Not an equally happy one...but still a memory.

Flashback

"Congratulations, Jou!" Yugi, Yami, Ryou, Bakura, Shizuka, Mokuba, Ryuji, Mai, Anzu and Honda cried out, and laughed when they saw the surprised look on Jou's face.

Jou laughed too, and hugged Shizuka who stood next to him. "Oh, man! Guys, ya shouldn' have..."

Shizuka smiled, and hugged her brother back. "Oh, come one, big brother! It's not every day you turn seventeen!"

"Actually, it's only one time." Yugi stated, and took Jou's hand to lead him to the cake. "Come on now, Jou! Blow out the candles!"

Jou smiled, and was about to blow out the candles, when he suddenly noticed something. "Guys, where's Seto?" He asked, and looked around himself.

Suddenly, the others stopped smiling, and looked very uneasy. None of them seemed to want to answer, and looked on each other.

Jou blinked, and grew worried. "Guys? Wha's the matter?"

Finally, it was Mokuba who spoke up. "Seto...couldn't come...he was-"

"Busy." Jou mumbled, and his eyes darkened. "Like always."

Yugi slowly put a hand on Jou's shoulder. "I'm sorry, Jou...I know you really wanted him to come..." He grew silent.

Jou shook his head, and looked up. A weak and forced smile came to his lips, and he fought to keep back tears. "Nah, it doesn' matter really...it probably was somethin' really important..." He sighed shakily, and then turned away to walk into his room. "I...I need to be alone for a while, 'kay? I'm sorry, guys, but...ya know." Then he walked in to his room, slamming the door loudly.

Jou threw himself onto the bed, and buried his face into his pillow, crying silently. "**That bastard." **He said inside his mind, sobbing. That fucking bastard. Forgetting an one week anniversary was one thing. Forgetting about your boyfriend's birthday was different.

Suddenly, Jou sat back up, and glared at the photo of Seto he kept next to his bed. "You will not get away with this, Seto." He growled to it, and rose.

It took Jou less than fifteen minutes to get to Kaiba Corporation's head building, where Jou knew Seto was at the moment. In his hand, he held something tightly clutched; something that he was going to return to the CEO.

With determined steps, Jou walked into the large building, and stomped up to the secretary. She looked up at the same second he walked in, and smiled to him. Jou knew her; her name was Rika, and she was Seto's personal secretary. And also the one that Jou had to talk to when he tried to reach the CEO at work.

"Hi, Jou!" Rika said when he stood in front of her. "Oh, before I forget; Happy Birthday!"

Jou smiled weakly. "Thanks, Rika. Is the bastard in?"

Rika frowned when she heard his tone, and the insult. "What did he do this-" She interrupted herself. Then her eyes narrowed. "He forgot about your birthday, didn't he?"

"Forgot and forgot..." Jou mumbled. "Ignored it is a better way to expression it."

Rika sighed, and shook her head so her red hair flew slightly. "Mr Kaiba is such an idiot at times." She pointed to the door to her right; Seto's office. "Go right in, Jou. And, while you're at it, give him a smack from me, would you?"

Jou grinned, and nodded. "With pleasure. See ya later, and thanks again."

Entering the large office, Jou couldn't help to admire the expensive decor of the room. Built in expensive wood, and covered with expensive things, it was quite impressive. A large desk stood opposite the door, in front of the large panorama window. And by the desk sat Seto, typing on a laptop.

When Jou closed the door behind him, Seto quickly looked up. When he saw Jou, he blinked. "Pup?"

Jou leaned backwards against the door, looking down at the floor. He didn't dare to look at the brunet for some reason unknown to himself. He wanted to yell at the CEO, and tell him how angry he was with him for missing his own boyfriend's birthday. But Jou's mouth refused to cooperate.

"What are you doing here?" Came the cold and empty voice of Seto, and Jou shivered. He really hated that tone; Seto's working tone.

"I...I came to...you know..." Jou swallowed, and cursed himself for not being able to yell at the CEO.

A deep and annoyed sigh came from Seto. "I really don't have time right now, Katsuya. You came at a really bad time, I have work to do." Seto's voice almost sounded angry.

At hearing that tone in Seto's voice, Jou's anger suddenly rose several levels. Was **he** angry! **He!** He didn't come to his birthday party, he ignored him, and he didn't even say Happy Birthday; and he dared to be angry!

Jou looked up, and glared heatedly at the CEO. "Well, sorry for interrupting you then! I just thought that I'd step by to remind you of that you have a boyfriend. 'Cause it seems like you've forgotten about that!"

Seto blinked, and then scowled. "That is not fair, Jounouchi. Just because I couldn't make it to some measly event-"

"'Measly event'? '**Measly!** How can you call my birthday a measly event!" Jou screamed, and stepped up to the desk and slammed his hand into the expensive wood.

Seto groaned, and closed his eyes for a second. "You can't seriously expect me to just drop everything and come running when something that unimportant happens? It's just a normal date of the year, with the only difference is that you happened to be born on that day."

Jou felt his heart clench painfully at hearing Seto's harsh words. His shoulders slumped, and his eyes lost all anger, to fill with sadness. "Am I really that unimportant to you, Seto?"

Seto's facial expression didn't change at all. All he did was to quickly check his clock, before he started to type on his laptop again. "I really don't have time for this. Go home, Katsuya, and eat some cake with your pathetic group of friends."

Jou's eyes flared, and he straightened his back. "They are not pathetic, Kaiba. They care about me, and they love me-" He paused, and then added quietly. "Unlike you."

Seto snapped his head up and glared at Jou. He rose quickly, and slammed his hands into the desk. "That is not true! I care, Jou, and I love you. But I just don't have time for this right now. Kaiba Corp-"

Jou's eyes flared again. "Not one more word, Kaiba! I don't want to hear it! I've already heard it so many times...Kaiba Corp is your first priority. But I...I..." Jou drew a deep breath, and then shouted; "I just won't be your 'second priority' any more, Seto!"

An emotion flashed in Seto's eyes at those words. "Katsuya..."

Jou shook his head, and interrupted the CEO. "No! Don't you 'Katsuya' me, Seto! You can't just do that; think that you can talk me over, and make me say it's alright! You ignored my birthday, you didn't come to my surprise party because you were too busy and not to mention that you have been working non-stop for a week, completely ignoring me and Mokuba..." He closed his eyes tightly, a tear escaping him. "...and that's not alright!"

Seto watched him quietly. Then he walked around the desk, and took his chin in his hand. Blue eyes locked with amber, and Jou could for a moment read so many emotions that it was impossible to name one. Then they went cold again. "Jou, listen. I wanted to come to your surprise party, I really did. But..." Seto sighed. "I couldn't. Please, forgive me."

Jou ripped Seto's hand from his cheek, and backed away one step. Another tear escaped Jou's eyes, but he angrily dried it away with the back of his hand. "No. I...I won't forgive you, damnit! It doesn't work that way, alright? You can't just think that...that you can get away with some lame excuse! I've heard it too many times, Seto! 'I was working', 'I've been busy', 'There was a meeting'...I won't take it anymore!" He sobbed quietly. "I just won't..."

Seto looked at him with emotionless eyes for a moment. And then the blue orbs narrowed. He grabbed the blonde's shoulders and roughly shook him. "Damnit, Jou! Listen, you moron! It's not an excuse; it's the truth! I have to work to keep the company going. And I do it for you and Mokuba! I need money to take care of you!"

Jou pushed the hands of his shoulders, and glared into Seto's eyes. "Money! I don't fucking want your money, Seto! That's not why I wanted you! I never wanted your money, Seto! All I want, and have ever wanted, is you!" Jou drew a deep breath to calm himself down. Then he spoke with a soft voice. "Don't you understand, Seto? It's not your money that matters. It's you. I...I love you, damnit." He looked down. "But I guess that doesn't matter to you, does it?"

Seto growled, and forced Jou's face upwards again so their eyes met. "You are an idiot sometimes, Jounouchi. Of course it matters." His voice softened. "Your love is all that matters to me."

Jou tried to brake free from the grip on his chin, But Seto kept him still, and pierced down with his gaze into Jou's eyes. "Stop fighting, Jou. I don't need any of that right now. We can fight later when I come home."

Jou felt his heart pump hot and angry blood to his brain at those words. Fight later? He didn't think so. He ripped free again, and shook his head violently. "No! I won't fight with you later! There is no later! It's now or never, Seto! If you really do love me, you can't treat me like some sort of business meeting that can be moved to another day!"

Seto stood still for a moment, looking down at Jou. Then his eyes turned emotionless, and he walked to his chair and sat down by the laptop. "I don't have time for this." He started typing, and didn't even bother to look up again.

Jou's heart broke.

A deep, heart wrenching sob, forced its way up Jou's throat, and he turned away from the CEO. He started to shake like it was a thousand degrees cold in the room. "F-Fine. Have it your way then..." He looked over his shoulder at Seto, tears slowly trickling down his cheeks. "...good bye, Seto. I hope that you'll be happy with your decision." And Jou left the room.

Jou leaned against the door, looking ahead of him with empty eyes. Tears still ran from them, and he bent down his head. "Bastard..." He whispered softly and sobbed quietly.

"Jou?" The blond boy looked up.

Rika was staring at him with a worried expression, and was about to rise. "Jou, what's the matter? What did he do?"

Jou shrugged, and dried away the tears quickly. "Nothing. Doesn't matter." He was about to leave, when he remembered something. He turned back to Rika, and put a small object on her desk. "Can...can you give this to S-Kaiba? I forgot to do it myself..."

Rika stared at the object, and then back to Jou. "Jou...are you...are you sure?"

"Definitely." And Jou left the building.

Jou didn't go to Kaiba Mansion that night. He went home to Yugi. There, he cried his heart out on Yugi's shoulder, while the small boy gently petted his hair, and said soothing things that Jou barely heard. Yami paced the small bedroom, cursing and mumbling in Egyptian, looking furious. Now and then, Yugi twitched while Yami spoke; he understood about half of what the spirit said. And that was scary enough.

When Jou had stopped crying, Yami immediately said that he would go to Kaiba Corp and send Seto to the Shadow Realm. That made Jou smile slightly, and then he felt sadness again.

Seto.

He had lost him.

It hadn't been their first fight. They often fought, but it never got this serious. Seto usually managed to talk Jou calm, after a few hours. But this time...Seto had just ignored him. Even though Jou told him the consequences. Maybe...Maybe Seto had never cared. Had it all been a game to him? Something to pass time with?

Jou wouldn't believe it. He didn't want to believe it.

Early the next day, when Jou and Yugi sat in the Game Shop talking, the phone rang. Yugi frowned. No one ever called this early. He walked up to the phone and answered it with his usual happy tone. "Kame Game shop, Yugi speaking. How can I-"

"**Cut the crap, Yugi. Have you seen Jou?**" A deep and cold voice that Yugi knew all too well said.

Yugi's eyes darkened slightly. "Oh. It's you."

"**Obviously. I asked you a question; Have you seen Jou?**"

"If I had, why would I tell you?" Somehow, Yugi's voice had turned cold and menacing, almost hateful.

"**...so, you have talked to him.**" Seto said quietly.

"Yes. And I'm going to hang up now. Bye."

"**Wait!**" Seto growled out, and Yugi hesitated. "**Please, let me talk to him. I...I wish to...just give him the phone.**"

Yugi was quiet for a moment, and glanced at Jou. The blond was looking at him with a frown on his face, and a worried expression on his face. "Hold on for a moment." Yugi put a hand over the receiver. "Jou...it's Kaiba."

Jou froze, and stared at the phone. "...oh." He said quietly.

Yugi waited. When Jou didn't say anything more, he continued. "He wants to talk to you."

Jou looked Yugi in the eye for a second, and then stared at his shoes. "I...I guess I could..." He suddenly looked determined, and shook his head firmly. "No. He made his choice yesterday. I won't talk to him."

Yugi nodded, and removed his hand from the receiver. "He doesn't want to talk." His voice was cold once again.

"**What the- Yugi, give him the phone!**"

"No."

"**Yugi-**"

"I SAID HE DOESN'T FUCKING WANT TO TALK!" Yugi roared, and slammed the phone down. He was panting heavily, and looked ready to explode. "The...nerve...of...that...guy." He panted out.

Jou blinked, and then his eyes turned soft. "Thank you, Yugi...you're really the best pal a guy could ever have." He paused. "You do realize that you just cursed?"

Yugi blushed, and sat down again.

Later that day, about five o'clock in the afternoon, Jou left the game shop to take a walk in the park. He looked emptily ahead of himself, while kicking a small stone on the path. Where his heart was supposed to sit, he only felt a big hole. In that hole, he once had had his love and happiness shared with the CEO. But now...it was just cut off.

Jou sighed, and sat down on a park bench. A slight shiver travelled through his body. It was cold outside. The autumn was there, and made the leaves of the park colour red, yellow and brown. Some of them fell to the ground in front of him.

One leaf, a yellow one with red streaks, suddenly fell straight into his hand, and Jou smiled slightly. It was beautiful...Another shiver from cold coursed through his body, and he whimpered slightly. He should have brought a warmer coat...

A warm piece of clothing suddenly fell over Jou's shoulders, and two hands rested on his shoulders. "You really shouldn't wear so little clothing. You might get sick." A low and smooth voice said above him.

Jou quickly turned his head around, and looked up. Honey eyes met with azure, and mingled together in a familiar way. Seto.

Jou looked away, and down at the ground in front of his feet. "You shouldn't be here." He mumbled quietly, and neatly folded his hands in his lap.

"What if I don't care?"

"You still shouldn't be here."

Seto sighed, and sat down next to him. "Katsuya...please, don't be mad with me." His voice would have sounded pleading. But Seto never pleaded, thus his voice didn't sound pleading. It sounded like it usually did; cold and emotionless. But still softer than usual.

Jou didn't answer. He just kept watching the ground ahead of him, and tried to banish the wonderful smell from Seto that brushed against his nose.

A pair of hands grabbed Jou's shoulders, and turned him to face Seto. The pair's eyes met, and Jou felt his heart jump. Seto's eyes was still cold, and didn't give away any emotions. "Katsuya, stop it. Don't try to ignore me like that; we both know it won't work..."

Jou felt anger boil within him, and he tore away from the CEO. "Don't you fucking dare to do that! You obviously don't know me if you think I'll just forgive you! You know why I can't forgive you, Seto?" Jou drew a deep breath. "Because you never apologized!"

Seto blinked. "I don't do apologizes." He finally said after a few moments of silence.

Jou sighed, and rose. "It doesn't matter. I still won't forgive you." His gaze didn't lift from the ground as he said that.

A flash of anger was seen on Seto's face, and he rose too. "For what? For forgetting your birthday? Is that why you break up with me? Because, if it is, it's the silliest reason I've ever heard."

"No." Jou whispered, and looked up. His eyes was filled with tears, and they slowly escaped his eyes. "I break up with you because you told me to leave. I break up with you because you, I quote, 'don't have time with me'. I break up with you because you hurt me, so many times. I warned you, Seto. I told you it was now or never. And I meant it." Jou turned away from the CEO. "Good bye, Seto."

Before Jou could leave, a strong hand grabbed his wrist, and stopped him. "Wait." That one word was spoken quietly, and with a pleading tone. Though, the pleading tone was so weak that you could have thought you imagined it.

And Jou did wait. He stopped, but didn't turn around. "Let me go, Seto." He whispered softly.

"I...Jou, I'm...sorry." Seto said it very lowly, but still, he said it.

Jou felt his heart jump, but he shook his head. "Seto, it doesn't make any difference. It's still over..." He was turned around so quickly that he almost fell over.

Seto's eyes was burning, and contained a crazy look that scared Jou. "What do I have to do then, Katsuya! What do I have to do to earn your forgiveness? To have you back? I'll do whatever it takes, I swear it! Just tell me what I have to do..." Seto drew a deep breath, and stared into the honey coloured pools of Jou's eyes. "...I'll do it, I swear."

Jou's eyes filled with tears, and he tried to pull away. "Seto...I...just let me go..."

"I'll sell Kaiba Corp." Seto suddenly said, and nodded to emphasise his words. "Yes, I will. I'll sell it tomorrow, if that makes you happy. If that makes you stay, I will do it."

Jou felt his heart jump, and he stared at the CEO. "Are...are you serious?" The blond swallowed. "You...You'd do that?"

Seto nodded quickly, still with that mad look in his eyes. "Yes. I would. I can do it right now. Just tell me to, and I will. If it makes you stay with me, I will."

Jou bit his lip. It would make him happy...and yes, it would very much make it better...but...

"Seto, Kaiba Corp is your life...I could never ask you to sell it."

Seto shook his head, and put his hands on Jou's cheeks. "No. **You** are my life, Katsuya. Without you, there is no realm or reason for me. Without you...I'll die..." He stared into Jou's eyes. Jou gasped.

In Seto's eyes, he could see love, devotion, care, warmth and craving. And...small droplets of crystal, that prayed to be released. Seto's shields...they were gone...

Jou leaned up, and kissed Seto softly on the lips. "I forgive you, Seto. Don't do it again, though."

A flash of happiness reached Seto's eyes. "Thank you, love. I won't do it again, I promise." Seto took out something from his pocket, and held it out in front of Jou's eyes. "Now...will you take the promise ring back?" He mumbled softly.

Yes. It was that object Jou had left on Seto's secretary's desk. Because that ring hadn't meant anything after that. Seto had broken the promise that ring held; to always be there for him no matter what.

Now, it meant everything again.

Jou nodded, and Seto slipped the ring back on his finger, where it belonged.

"I love you." Jou whispered softly, and smiled.

Seto smiled back. "I love you too."

End Flashback

It's true, we had our fights. But they always resulted in something good. Like that one. Seto took one month off, and after that he worked only four hours each day. And, surprisingly, it still worked out for him. The corporation still made a fortune, and was still popular. And he got more time with both me and Mokuba. It was all perfect.

God, I miss him.

More memories...I don't want to go through them, but...I have to...

"Seto, where are we going?" Jou laughed when Seto lead him through the corridors of the mansion, holding his hands over the honey coloured orbs.

Seto chuckled behind him. "Don't be so impatient, pup. It will be worth the wait, I promise."

Jou pouted slightly. "Seto..."

"We're here." Seto suddenly announced, and Jou heard a door opening. He tried to pry Seto's hands of his eyes, but Seto held them put. "Wait." The brunet moved him through the door that he had opened, and Jou suddenly felt soft grass under his feet.

He was lead over more grass, and then Seto pushed his shoulders slightly, moving for him to sit down. And Jou did. Soft cushions was under him, and he smiled softly. He sat in a couch...outside?

"Love, do you remember when you said that you love orchids?" Seto mumbled softly in his ear, standing behind him and behind the couch he sat on.

"Yeah...why?" Jou said uncertainly.

"Take a look." And the hands were removed from his eyes. Jou slowly opened them. The amber orbs widened, and he gasped.

They sat in the garden of Kaiba Mansion, but it didn't look like it usually did with only green and plain carpets of grass.

The whole garden was filled with orchids. Wherever you looked, there were orchids growing, in all colours imaginable; blue, red, yellow, pink, green, purple, and mixes between them all.

Tears filled up in Jou's eyes, and he put his hands in front of his mouth. "Oh my God..." He whispered softly, and stared at the flowers. "Seto..." A small sob pressed up in his throat, and another one.

"Pup?" Seto said worriedly, and sat down next to him. "Are you okay? Don't...Don't you like it?" A slight tone of disappointment was to be heard in Seto's voice.

Jou shook his head violently. "I l-love it..." He choked out, and shook when another sob erupted from his throat. "It's so beautiful..." The tears in his eyes escaped, and ran down his cheeks in small droplets.

Seto wrapped his arms uncertainly around Jou's shoulders. "Jou? Don't cry...please? You know I hate it when you cry..." His voice was filled with so much emotion when he said that.

Jou sobbed once more, and looked up at Seto with his tearstained eyes. A small smile was on his lips. A smile of only true joy and happiness. "You did all of this for me?"

Seto nodded, and smiled back. "Only for you."

Then Jou giggled, and softly pecked his neck. "Never thought you to be the romantic type, Seto. I thought you hated romantic, cheesy stuff."

A small tinge of red coloured Seto's cheeks, and he glared at Jou. "Oh, do shut up?" Pause. "And I still hate cheesy, romantic stuff, don't you dare thinking something else." Another pause. "Or telling someone something else."

Jou pouted. "Aw, Seto...just Yugi?"

"Then Yami will hear of it, and he'll never give me peace."

"Honda?"

"Who will kick my ass for 'seducing you' like that?"

"...Ryou?"

"...are you kidding?"

"Ryuji then?"

Seto considered this for a few seconds. "Well, then maybe he would understand who that is your boyfriend. Sure, you can tell him. And, while you're at it, tell him how much you loved it."

Jou smiled, and snuggled into his boyfriend's chest. "I love you, Seto. I always will."

A small smile formed on Seto's lips too, and he kissed the top of Jou's head. "I love you too, Katsuya. No matter what."

Please...no more memories...it hurts too much to think of them...

"You're watching me again." Said a soft and tired voice. Jou slowly opened his eyes, and looked up.

Seto was leaning on his elbow, watching him with care sparkling in his eyes. When Jou opened his eyes, he blinked, and blushed. "What do you mean, 'again'?"

Jou smiled tiredly. "I've noticed that you always stay awake longer than me. And when you do, you spend a long time watching me like that..." He leaned his head to the side, looking just like a curious puppy. "Why do you?"

Seto was quiet for a moment. Then he spoke with a soft and gentle voice. "I just want to make sure that you don't have any nightmares."

Oh, how I wish that he was here now. Ever since he died, nightmares has haunted me. I miss the way he used to watch me, in a way that I knew that I was safe and guarded from anything that wished to harm me.

But, it won't happen. You are dead. There's nothing to do about that.

Then, the most happy memory of all reaches me, but I try not to remember it. Not this

one...please, I don't want to be reminded of that again...

Flashback

Jou laughed loudly, holding his stomach. It hurt from laughing so much. "Oh my God, Seto! I thought we'd never get out of that restaurant alive!" He wheezed out, drying away some tears of mirth that had escaped him.

Seto, however, didn't look as amused. Instead, he looked furious. "It was that damned waiter's fault! If he hadn't dropped that bowl with soup all over our table, the evening would have been just fine!" He threw his jacket on the bed, and angrily started to kick off his shoes.

Jou stopped laughing. A worried frown formed on his face, and he walked up to Seto. Caringly, Jou wrapped his arms around Seto's waist, and leaned his forehead against his back. "Seto, what's wrong?"

Seto pulled away and angrily started to open the buttons in his shirt. "Except that the evening was ruined? Then, no, nothing's wrong!" He growled.

Jou blinked. "Seto, it was only a dinner..."

"It was our three years anniversary!" Seto sat down on the bed. All his anger seemed to run off him, and his shoulders slumped. "I wanted it to be perfect..."

Jou sighed, and then sat down next to him. A small smile pulled on his lips, and he leaned his head on Seto's shoulders. "It was a great night. I loved it."

The brunet sighed deeply, and shook his head. "It didn't work out as I planned. I...wanted to...do something tonight." He swallowed. "Ask you something, to be more precise. But...that damned waiter ruined it all."

Jou blinked, and straightened his back. Uncertainly, he looked at Seto, and swallowed too. "What were you going to ask me then?"

Seto glanced at Jou, and then down on the floor. A small smile started to tug on his lips. "To ask you that question, I need you to stand up."

Jou rose one eyebrow, but still rose. He shuffled his feet nervously when Seto looked up at him in an unnerving way. "Okay, I'm standing..."

Seto rose too. "And then, I would need to kneel..." He kneeled down in front of Jou, who was staring at him with large and surprised eyes. "And then, I would need to take out this from my pocket..." Slowly, Seto pulled out a small box from his pocket, and placed it in his right hand, with the left one on the lid.

"Seto..." Jou gasped, suddenly understanding what Seto was doing.

Seto smiled, and continued. "Then I would have to open the lid of the box..." And so he did. A small glimmer of gold and diamond reached Jou's eyes, and he gasped again. "And now, I could ask the question."

Jou swallowed, and looked Seto in the eye. "And...what is that question?" The question was unnecessary, but Jou asked it anyway. He needed to be sure.

Taking a deep breath, Seto answered with a small smile on his lips. "Will you marry me?"

End Flashback

NO!

Not...not that memory. It is the happiest memory I have; I don't want to destroy it by feeling miserable. Why couldn't that memory just stay hidden within me, and only come out one day when I was ready to deal with it!

That night, when Seto proposed to me, I was the happiest man alive. Though, I think I cried floods upon saying yes. Seto almost though that I was sad that he asked, and even offered to go back on the question. I smacked him for even suggesting something that stupid.

Why did you have to die?

I sob, and rise from the cliff. Staring into the now black sea in the night that has fallen, I open my tightly clenched hand. In it, lays a small object. That small object that is the most precious to me than anything else. The object I hate the most. I turn my eyes to it.

The ring. The golden ring with the beautiful diamond in it. The one Seto proposed to me with. It hurts looking at it. In it, I can see him, and his blue eyes. His voice rings in my ears upon gazing at that ring. Memories flashes before my eyes, different pictures of Seto, and different views on our life.

"You're a puppy." "My puppy."

"Your love is all that matters to me..."

"Katsuya... please don't be mad at me...

"I...Jou, I'm...sorry."

"I'll sell Kaiba Corp." "Yes, I will. I'll sell it tomorrow, if that makes you happy. If that makes you stay, I will do it."

"No. **You** are my life, Katsuya. Without you, there is no realm or reason for me. Without you...I'll die..."

"Only for you."

"I just want to make sure that you don't have any nightmares."

"I love you too, Katsuya. No matter what."

"I will die, Jou. I know I will. I can feel the force of my body run out from me..."

"But...don't cry over me, Jou..."

"You can live without me, Jou. You will."

"_Cherish the moments we had, Jou."_

" _Never forget me." _

"_Don't live in the past." _

"I will never leave you, Katsuya."

"I love you, Katsuya..."

Seto lied.

He did leave me.

Hot tears streams down my cheeks, and I close my hand over the ring again. "You left me, Seto. You didn't keep your promise." Is the thought inside my mind. I clutch the ring so hard in my hand that my knuckles turns white.

Then I put the ring on my finger. "Forever yours..." I whisper, to let the wind pick up my voice.

I pray that you will all forgive me for being this weak. But my strength died with him. My will to move on. My everything. It's gone. It will never come back.

My thoughts goes to the people I care about, and the people that may miss me.

Shizuka...my beloved sister. I'm sorry for hurting you this way. I just wish I could have seen you more often, and been the big brother you deserve. I love you, sis. I always have, always will. I hope that you will forgive me. Please, understand...you will, I know you.

Yugi...my best friend. You helped me through everything, and made me a good guy again. You changed me. And for the better. In a way, you saved me. You always believed in me. I'm sorry for letting you down.

Yami...well, you are a nice guy too. You always did all you could to make me and the others happy. I hope that you will make sure that Yugi survives this...

Ryou...my quiet and laidback British friend. You always offered help with my homework. And that was often. Thank you. I'm sorry.

Bakura...what can I really say about you? You are...special. And, even though you act like you don't, I know you care. You love Ryou...please help him through this.

Honda...my best and oldest pal. You've always been there for me, no matter what. You watched my back, you helped me when I went through rough times. We swore an oath to protect each other, and to always be there for each other. I will miss you. Please, don't be mad. I love you, my brother in all but blood.

Ryuji...well...I guess you're okay too. No matter what you said to me, I know you cared. And you are a good friend. Help Honda get through this too, alright? And Shizuka. They both need you.

Mum, Dad...I forgive you for all you did to me. I know you love me. I hope that you will be happy together, again. Please, help Shizuka to move on. Give her the love she deserves, and the love I never managed to give her. I love you. Thank you.

Anzu...a devoted friend. Scary sometimes. Yeah. Those friendship speeches really got to me at some point...but you care. I know you do. A bit dense, maybe...but my friend. Don't be sad.

Mai...my first crush. You know I loved you too. Still do. Not in that way, though. Like a sister. I hope that you won't cry. It will make your mascara ruined.

Mokuba...I'm sorry. I know I'm selfish. But, don't hate me for this...for leaving you. But I think you'll understand, better than anyone else. You knew how deeply I love your brother. Maybe even just as much as you do. I love you, Mokuba. Take care.

I love you. All of you. Good bye, everyone. I hope that you will all live happily ever after. You deserve it.

I just hope someone will find me.

- - - - - - - - - - -

A shuffle of feet.

Running steps.

A rush of wind.

Momentarily silence.

A splash of water.

Then only silence.

And the sound of waves braking, a never-ending sound.

- - - - - - - -

_Let me be the one you call_

_If you jump, I'll break your fall_

_Lift you up and fly away with you into the night_

If you need to fall apart, I can mend your broken heart 

_If you need a place to crash and burn you're not alone..._

- - - - - - - -

**End**

...oh my God.

I hate myself for writing this! This is the very first fic I wrote with a sad ending! Well, I enjoyed writing it. I'm proud of being able to. I never thought I would manage to finish it...-sob- I cried almost through this whole thing, damnit!

Poor Jou-chan...-huggles Jou-plushie-

Well, now you know what I thought; now you tell me what you thought! Did you like it? Hate it? Did you cry? –sob- I did...-hiccup- Damnit! –hiccup-

Please leave me a review, I love long ones...I really need to know what people thought; I'm loosing the will to write! I have writer's block on all my stories, damnit! That's why I write these one shots; to make myself able to write again!

Love you all for reading. Thank you for your time.

-The Blonde Midget. 


End file.
